But judging by what artists people are throwing $$ on, I’m questioning that statement:
Green Day? Pearl Jam? Nickelback? Linkin Park? This list reads like a late-’90′s ‘compilation set. Even if the Pearl Jam song is the best song of the summer, I feel like the band’s continued popularity is somewhat a product of nostalgia for the days of a budget surplus. But hey, I guess some people enjoy it.
Speaking of that NYMag list–I’ve heard exactly one of those songs and have never heard of the first two artists at all. Maybe I’m just jaded, but every song here sounds like what ended up in the reject pile from someone with at least a modicum of talent. Both Jeremih and Demi Lovato lack the ridiculous narrative arc and vocal dominance of R. Kelly or Kelly Clarkson, respectively. It’s like they made the cake and forgot to put the frosting between the layers. A song about all the freaky shit you’re going to do to your girl on her birthday? If you’re gonna go with it, you need more than a smooth R&B beat and a slightly annoying vocal trick. You gotta make sure that no kitsch stone is left uncovered. And make sure that the lyrics for your assertive I-sure-don’t-need-this-guy anthem gives the singer more credit than relying on complaints I could think of hungover–he never shows up on time, he doesn’t call, he doesn’t listen, but I’m with him anyway. No amount of multi-octave warbling can hide how lame and weak Demi seems in this song.
And this Shakira single…seriously, I don’t know where to begin. It’s like there were 8 different producers who saw this song going in 15 different ways. The result is this terrifying blend of disco-burlesque-electro-yodeling that makes me feel anxious, angry and terrified all at once. Thanks, record execs, for taking a giant shit on some of the best genres of music created and then having the arrogance to think that we will enjoy it. No, dear sirs (because I know you are sirs, because women would never make Shakira do this, ever), I do not, I cannot accept this as a viable excuse for any kind of respectable ‘catchy’ music, especially not from the woman who has given us so many better songs and who is actually pretty cool. Don’t play me like that.
Ugh, don’t even get me started on the video. Nude leotards? Srsly???
